2017 07 23
2017 07 19
Mindfulness Mondays: Why Rushing is Never Worth it (Your Brain is Tricking You)
“I’m running behind, so I need to rush to catch up!”But in reality, rushing to “catch up” is rarely worth it! The amount you “catch up” pales in comparison to the added stress you create by rushing.
The Myth of "Catching Up" (And why the Odds are Stacked Against You)
Rushing is a simple exchange, with inputs and outputs. You put something in (extra physical and mental energy) to achieve a result (“catching up”). But the positive results from rushing are marginal at best. You never truly catch up! And the cost for acquiring those marginal benefits significantly outweighs their benefit. Let’s say you’re running late to a meeting and decide to speed on your way there. Instead of going the 60mph speed limit, you push it to 72mph. What used to take you 15 minutes now only took about 12. But saving those precious three minutes costs you significantly. You're putting yourself at greater risk for physical harm (crash), mental harm (stress), and financial harm (speeding ticket). Rushing adds stress and anxiety to your life. Over time, this can make a big difference in your default mental state. Even if it doesn’t feel significant in the moment, the difference between a peaceful mind and a somewhat stressed mind is significant. It impacts everyone around you as well. The stress of needing to act quickly can be worth it when your wellbeing is threatened…But in modern times, those situations are few and far between. With that in mind, why don’t you bat an eye when you see coworkers frantically rushing around the office? Why is rushing so commonplace?The Brain that Cried Wolf
The modern brain is poorly calibrated to understand threats. This has nothing to do with your intelligence. It’s a natural byproduct of human evolution. Fear’s role is to motivate you to act swiftly to prevent a threat to your wellbeing. But in today’s society, most people don’t experience situations with legitimately harsh consequences. Our distant ancestors faced frequent threats from wild animals, unforgiving elements, and warring enemies. Modern man’s most common “threats” involve nothing more than short-term emotional or physical discomfort. Your brain has new inputs in today’s world, but the operating system is the same as our “caveman” ancestors. This is why rushing around is so commonplace in modern society. Situations with minor consequences feel significant in the absence of anything more dangerous. The result: unnecessarily elevated levels of stress and anxiety.You fear the consequences of “falling behind” at work, so you work frantically to try and make up for it. You fear what will happen if you arrive a few minutes late to something, and drive aggressively to get their faster.Both of these scenarios exemplify the stacked equation of rushing. The marginal gains in either case aren’t worth the added stress. This isn’t to say that working quickly is never worth it. Sometimes it’s necessary. But it should come from a place of genuine inspiration and internal motivation, not fear. Letting fear take over on a regular basis is unnecessary and harmful to you and those around you. Fortunately, there are a host of ways to take control in these situations! You can learn to understand when it’s worthwhile to rush.
3 Situations to Cultivate Awareness and Reduce Stress
Awareness is your antidote to unnecessary stress. When you pause to identify the real consequences of everyday fears (rejection, “falling behind”, running late, etc.) you give yourself the opportunity to act intentionally. Instead of letting fear take over, you understand when the consequences of rushing won’t be worth the added stress. Here are three different situations where you can cultivate awareness to minimize rushing and reduce stress:In the Moment
Cultivate awareness and notice when you start to rush. Take a minute to pause and evaluate your scenario. Think through the benefits and consequences of rushing by asking yourself two questions:- What’s the worst that could happen if I act normally, and don’t rush? This tends to be surprisingly insignificant. (e.g. “My friend will be by themselves for 10 minutes.” or “I get a little embarrassed for 30 seconds.”)
- What are the best and worst-case scenarios if I choose to rush? The best will likely be a marginal improvement from acting normally, while the worst may be significant. (e.g. Best: You arrive at my destination 5 minutes earlier. Worst: You get a speeding ticket or get in a crash.)
In Preparation
It’s easy to feel behind when you’ve lost control of your schedule. This lack of control is often a matter of priority. It’s a sign that you’ve let too many commitments into your life that don’t align with what matters to you. Give yourself more control with these three strategies:- Start saying “no” Take control of your schedule by saying “no” to more things. Spend your time on things that you value. (Use the 20 Minute Life Check to get started here.)
- Organize to-do's by urgency and priority This framework was popularized by Stephen Covey (author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) and used by President Dwight Eisenhower. It will help you focus on the right tasks by identifying what's actually important.
- Cultivate space Create space in your day by scheduling short breaks to reflect or give your mind a break. Active reflection time and subconscious processing time are critical to doing your best work.
After the Fact
Reflect on the times when you do choose to rush. Ask yourself:- Was it worthwhile?
- Why or why not?
Vanquish Insignificant Fears to Live With Intention
Modern society has it’s legitimate dangers. But most common fears have insignificant consequences. Conquer your fear of falling behind by staying present to the true consequences of your actions. Some of the best advice I’ve ever received came from a friend in a three word text when I was running late.“Sweet, no rush.”Next time you’re running late or feel behind at work, take a minute to breath and find your center. Then, evaluate your scenario, and act accordingly. The world will be a better place when you do!
Based in Chicago, IL, Patrick Buggy is a coach and writer at MindfulAmbition.net, where he shares mindful strategies to help you live your best life. To start every week on the right foot, join the free newsletter: Mindful Monday Mornings.
2017 07 17
2017 07 16
Primal Kitchen Part 3-It’s Here!
2017 07 12
Mindfulness Mondays: The Iceberg Method — Hack Your Routine to Create More Mindful Moments
Mindfulness is a State of Mind
Mindfulness isn’t an activity that you do. It’s a state of mind. When you do something mindfully, you're fully present in the moment. You aren’t thinking about the past or the future. Instead, you place your attention and awareness on whatever you're experiencing at that time. Many people make a simple mistake when learning about mindfulness. They characterize it as a set of activities: "Mindfulness is when you do yoga, or meditate, or journal…" You wouldn’t be wrong to define yoga and journaling as mindfully oriented activities. In fact, both are a part of my mindfulness practice! But they’re only a few of the countless ways to cultivate mindfulness--merely the tip of the iceberg. There’s so much more beneath the surface!The Iceberg Method: How to Hack Your Routine to Create More Mindful Moments
The Iceberg Method works in three steps:- First, expand your view of what's considered a "mindful activity"
- Second, find new opportunities to be mindful that you previously overlooked
- Third, queue more mindful moments with physical reminders
1. Recalibrate Your Definition of Mindful Activities
Think about mindfulness as an iceberg. The ice represents all the opportunities to create more mindful presence in your life. Activities like meditation and yoga are the tip of the iceberg. They’re the clearly visible manifestations of a mindfulness practice in everyday life. What's “beneath the water”? It’s the rest of your day! Here’s what I mean by that... You can create mindful moments at any point in the day. Usually this means focusing on your breath, or paying specific attention to your senses. Every moment of every day is an opportunity to be mindful. Which doesn’t mean you need to be mindful and aware every second of every day. But it does give you the chance to cultivate mindfulness more often than you do now. If you haven’t thought of mindfulness in this way before, you probably didn’t realize the countless opportunities for mindfulness that already exist in your routine! You don’t need to set aside extra time to meditate to be mindful. (Although it does help, and I highly recommend it.) And you don’t need perfect conditions to be mindful. You just need to remember to pay attention! When mindfulness is an always-available state of mind, the hardest part isn’t having time, it’s remembering to do it! With the Iceberg Method, you can define new opportunities to be mindful that you previously overlooked. Repurpose everyday moments into mindful breaks and start building your mindfulness practice!2. Define Opportunities to be Mindful in Your Daily Routine that Won’t Take Extra Time
Everyone has different routines. So it doesn’t really matter what parts of your day you pick for mindful breaks. The important thing is that you create these mindful moments every day! Here are 12 everyday moments I’ve used as opportunities to be mindful.- While washing your hands…focus on the temperature and sensation of the water, soap, and towel on your hands.
- While eating food…focus on the taste, texture, and temperature of the food as you eat it. Notice how the flavors change as you eat.
- While moving/exercising…focus on your breath, and the sensation of the muscles you’re using.
- While drinking water…focus on the temperature, and the feeling of the water as it moves into your mouth and down your throat.
- While cooking…observe how the food reacts to heat, and changes form over time. Focus on the smells of the food and seasonings.
- While getting dressed…notice how the various fabrics feel on your body as you put them on.
- While cleaning…notice how the surface changes as you clean it. Focus on the patterns of your movement as you scrub or wipe.
- While showering…focus on the temperature and sensation of the water and soap against your skin.
- While outside in weather (wind, rain, snow…)…notice how the shifts in weather feel against your clothes and skin. Observe how your environment changes.
- While waiting…pay attention to your breathing. Take slow, deep breaths in and out through your nose.
- While writing…focus on the sensation of your pen against the paper. Notice how the ink dries on the page.
- While on the bus…close your eyes and listen. Notice the loud sounds around you. Then, try to find the quietest noise you can hear.
3. Use Physical Reminders to Queue Mindful Moments
To make this habit easier, try using physical reminders as a way to queue yourself to be mindful. I do this with my gratitude journal by leaving it on my bed every night. That way, I'm guaranteed to remember to write in it before falling asleep. A few ways to do this:- Leave notes for yourself You can put simple notes like “Breathe”, or “Accept”, or “Present” around your house where you know you’ll see them. The worksheets for this article have a full list of reminder words you can cut out. Place them where you know you’ll bump into them!
- Write on your hand/arm Just a small dot, letter, or short word will do the trick. (Or, repurpose the classic “rubber band around your wrist” reminder.)
- Put a “marker" on a high-use object Use a permanent marker to make a mark of some kind on your toothbrush, or deodorant stick. Or put a sticker on your phone case. Make it visible, and put it on something you use every day!
Start Creating More Mindful Moments
Building this new mindful moments habit will take time. But soon enough, you’ll find yourself spending more time in mindful presence. You’ll start to recognize how beneficial these simple everyday moments can be! Remember the iceberg, and you’ll never have too little time for mindfulness! PS: Click here to download The Iceberg Method Worksheets and start hacking your routine for more mindful moments.Based in Chicago, IL, Patrick Buggy is a coach and writer at MindfulAmbition.net, where he shares mindful strategies to help you live your best life. To start every week on the right foot, join the free newsletter: Mindful Monday Mornings.
2017 07 10
2017 07 09
2017 07 06
Jean Jammin’ and Better Poops: The Angie and Amy Story Part I
2017 07 05
Mindfulness Mondays: Creating Positive Change That Lasts
Change Can Happen to You
Sometimes an external force comes and knocks you off the tracks. Growing up, this happened all the time. Every semester, you took new classes. Each year, you went up a grade. Change was built into the system, and you reacted to it. But in the working world, it’s not the same. There is no “system” to continue shaking things up. Nobody’s going to tell you what to do next. Sure, you might get transferred to a new team. Or your girlfriend could break up with you. But there’s no set pattern to how or when change will happen.You Can Create Your Own Change
The second type of change is much more proactive. Instead of waiting for change to happen to you, you can knock yourself off the tracks. When something isn’t right in your world, it’s on you to try a new approach. Maybe it's starting a new fitness routine. Or getting a new job. Or starting that side project you’ve been thinking about for a year. Any aspect of your life can change, if you’d like it to. Proactive change isn’t inherently better than reactive change. Both can lead to good and bad outcomes. But creating your own change is the best way to increase the probability that you end up where you want to be. The alternative is a game of chance.When the Going Gets Tough...Persevere
We’ve made a yearly tradition of attempting to create change. It's called making New Year’s Resolutions. But these changes rarely last...A small percentage of people actually keep their new year’s resolutions! This isn’t just about New Year’s resolutions, though. It’s about any new goal or change you try to bring into your life. When things fall apart, it’s easy to blame external factors:“It just wasn’t the right time” “If this was meant to be it would have happened by now" “I must not have wanted it that badly…" ...Some external reasons are legitimate. But most of the time, they’re excuses. (And not very good excuses at that.) The real culprit of failure is surprisingly simple: creating change is challenging and uncomfortable! When the going gets tough, it’s much easier to return to your old ways. Doing what you’ve been doing feels comfortable and safe. We’re hardwired to crave routine and safety. But avoiding change isn’t actually “safe”. The only thing it guarantees is that you'll keep doing the same things you’ve always done. Shying from discomfort means avoiding rewarding challenges and growth opportunities. Embracing the opportunity to create your own change leads you to a more fulfilling life. So lean into the discomfort, and persevere.
Create Your Own Change
When you feel like your life isn't getting you where you want to go, it’s time to get to work. You can use this structure to start creating positive change. Grab a notebook and a pen, and dive in.1. Identify what you want to change
Locate what you want to stop doing. If you’re feeling down, might already know what this is. If you aren’t quite sure, try starting a daily journal. Don’t overthink it. Just write what comes to your mind for five minutes every day. After a week or two, look back through your entries for patterns of discomfort, sadness, anger, or negativity. Once you’ve isolated what you want to change, decide what you want to start doing instead. For example: Let’s say dating and meeting new people is important to you, but you’ve lost momentum in your dating life.- What you want to stop doing: Making excuses for not meeting up with new people.
- What you’re going to start doing: Going on dates.
2. Give yourself permission to act
It’s easy to blame external factors for your failures. But chances are, the only thing holding you back is yourself! Sometimes we hold on to negative mindsets that hold us back:- “I’m not ready"
- “I don’t deserve it"
- “I just don't have time"
- “It would have happened already if it were meant to be"
3. Start small
Creating change doesn’t need to be a dramatic shift. Small actions, performed consistently over time, can create massive impact. Start by identifying a little step you can do to get moving in the right direction. For our frustrated dater, this could mean downloading a dating app, joining a Meetup group, or texting that person they never reached out to. Everything good started somewhere small.4. Make a habit out of it
Focus on creating a sustainable habit to keep working towards your goal. Commit to a process (e.g. Going on 2 dates every month) to stay focused on action instead of a target. You'll sleep soundly knowing you’re taking steps in the right direction.You’re in the driver’s seat
Every now and then, you might get lucky when a great surprise comes your way. But it’s an unreliable strategy to find success. So when something has you down, know that you have the power to create your own change. You can hop into the driver’s seat at any time. It won’t be easy. But did anyone say it should be? :)Based in Chicago, IL, Patrick Buggy is a coach and writer at MindfulAmbition.net, where he shares mindful strategies to help you live your best life. To receive his most popular articles, join the free Mindful Ambition weekly newsletter.
2017 07 03